~~Forget the Diamond--A Remembrance Post~~

Forget the diamond coating my scars. Forget the glimmering signs of strength. Fucking forget it. Forget all the pretenses. Just screw it, screw everything tonight. I'm fucking pissed and I just don't care any more.

I've done this to myself.

I have DONE THIS to myself.

I have gone through heaven and hell--BECAUSE OF THINGS I DECIDED TO DO.

I have suffered COUNTLESS agonies and hells because of my mistakes.

Because of things I did.

And I can't do this any more.

I can't suffer. I need to change my life, for the better.

And, one day...I need to find a way OUT of the wall. Find an iron pickaxe...Find an ESCAPE.

Find an escape to...love. And life. And light.

To all the things I have fled from.

I need to escape. I need to be free. I need to be alive. I need to get better.

Forget the fucking diamond.

Forget my scars.

I need to live, and this year...

I'm going to damn well try!

I'm going to damn well try to be better. Try to make better friends. Try to be better.