~~Pain: A Rambling~~

Pain, without love
   Pain, I can't get enough
      Pain, I like it rough
         'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

--Pain, Three Days Grace

I'm addicted. For me to feel alive, I've gotta feel pain. I love to be held down and forced. I need the pain if I am to get any pleasure.

I need to be hurt.

I'm sick of feeling numb.

And this world isn't one I can understand.

I don't even need to be loved if there's something making me scream, making me cry out. Making me hate myself.

Making me hate myself....

Anger and agony....

Those are better than this thrice accursed numbness and boredom that dogs my steps. I want out of this rut I'm in, and if pain...If pain breaks me out of it....Then hell fucking yes I'm taking it.

I'm not the only one who needs it. I've met Dominants and submissives, and before you ask, I'm a submissive. I could never be a Dominatrix. I need the loss of power and the loss of control, the sense of powerlessness and hopelessness and fear. I don't crave control. I'm happy enough to surrender it.

All in all, it comes down to pain, pleasure, and power.

And the final word is the one that runs the world.

Who has the power is the one who is pleased. And the one who does not is the one hurt.

I need to be hurt.

I need to be punished.

My loves, this....This is something you didn't know about me. But it's one hundred percent true.

I can't get enough pain.

Au revior.