~~This Time It's Different by Evans Blue~~

Language Barriers?

Friday, June 22, 2012

~~Love's A Curse for Angels Like Me--Ramble~~

Hate flows through my veins, sweet and thick, intoxicating....

Sweet arousal flows like the gentle brush of hands, causing lips to part and dark eyes to flash with sinful delight....

Love sears and burns me, setting me on fire....

Hate, lust, love....

Emotions that walk and dance hand in hand, alternating like the faces of a three-sided coin...

Love and Hate and Lust.

Love simply gets in the way.

If I must fall, let it be in the flames of lust and hate, not in the tears of love. My wings are tinting red and black, the white feathers of purity falling, falling, like leaves of the purest white snow.

My eyes flash and turn to solid black, before I weep tears of blood....

"Stop me."

"STOP ME!"

"LET ME GO!"

My shrieks echo soundlessly through the darkened blackness, and even though I feel the comfort, feel the love and the feeling of home, I can't find a single thing to clutch...I find hands to hold on to and lips to kiss, but whenever I touch another my body to another's I fade away....

I fade away....

But then I'm dragged out of the darkness and shoved onto beds of pillows and silk, held down with warm comforting blankets, burned at the stake by a fireplace. I'm chained and imprisoned by comforting hands and gentle touches. I'm branded with the touch of lips and fingertips.

Love is a curse....

When you get too much....

And maybe even when you get it at all....

I miss the darkness, the cold aching loneliness when everything made sense, made prisoner by my own silence and through my own desires....I miss how long I would spend dreaming, hoping for better days....And now that better days have come, I long for the hell again....

Give it back to me!

Return me to the days of loneliness, when things had no consequences and I knew how to survive! When I could be happy, and smile without scars....

Give back to me my loveless, anonymous days.....

When I could truly fade away....

But now the world of my loves is upon my shoulders, along with futures....

Ted loves me so, and wants to spend his life with me.....

But....My Master, who I left at the pressure from my friends to leave my cam whore days when HE wasn't the one hurting me but the others, still wants me....And I still want him....I still want him....

I miss it......

I miss him and me....

Love is a curse...

LOVE IS A CURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want, I want, I want what I can never have.......

I hate, I hate, I hate what I am always given....

Someone....

Anyone....

Cut me from the chains of love and let me run.

Let me run from here.

Let me spread my wings and fly.

I'm an Angel.....

I'm an Angel built for sin....

Won't you please let me fly?

Fly so high I catch on fire--a final shooting star across the pink storm clouds of the final dawn?

And twinkle out, a fallen firefly....

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