A Tale Written On A Plucked Feather

It felt like I could barely stand
My legs were shaking

The room spun before my eyes
I was dripping sweat

What if they laughed?
What if I cried?

I looked out at their faces
At Saira, Ian, Amanda
Domenic, Alexander, Adam

Saquan, Mohammed, Mckayla
Amber, Sun-Jung, Dan
Elaine, Umair, Ted

Out at all of them
At the ghosts, the shifting forms
Of all those there for me
And all those who used to be

And the forms of ones who will be there
My face was blushing red with shame
Hot tears were falling from my eyes
And I couldn't sop being afraid
But I began to speak

And I said:

I come to speak with you today
Because I am a child of none
Lover of many

And slave to a few
I come to bare my scars

And confess my dark tale
I come to you seeking atonement for my deeds

Seeking the knowledge

That I have spoken

And told my story
I come because of a Sharpie
A webcam

And a man so far away

I come because of a bitten tongue

Dripping black blood
I come because of a hand

Seeking the centre

And a leg's helpless twitch

I come because of a drop of blood

Leaking from a scabbed-over cut

I come here because of a scream

Echoing into the unforgiving night

I come because of a small cloth

Stained with makeup and fluids

I come because of eyes

Drifting shut in misplaced trust

I come because of a song

Drowning out the world

Causing tears to fall
I come because of memories

Of better and worse times
I come because I am me
And I will find my path again

They listen to my words
Watch me collapse to my knees

And they crowd around me
I shut my eyes

Trying to shut out the coming laughter
The coming words of disappointment

And hatred
But they do not come

Every one of them
Lays upon me

A single finger

And lifts me to my feet

To stand by their sides again

And as one they murmur

Voices soft as thunder:

We

Are

Proud

Of

You. 

One Song For My Friends

Another Song For Them