Emily V. My beautiful Emily V. I love you heart and soul, I truly do. If you want me, I'm forever a message away. I will walk the distance that lies between us if that's what it takes to prove to you how I feel.
And many of you reading this will tell me that I do not mean what I just said, that all those pretty words are lies. Are they right? No. They aren't right. I mean it, Emily, when I tell you I love you.
So...Can you really be gone? Could I have truly lost you, before I ever realized what I had? I thought I didn't mean anything to you. I thought I was just one among many to try and take your heart. I thought that you perhaps didn't love me at all.
But I realized too late what a fool I was. You love me, Emily V. I know that now. Or is it 'loved'?
What have I done to you? You were the best and worst thing in my life. I'm sorry, Emmy. I'm sorry for everything I have ever done. I'm sorry for ever doubting you. I'm sorry for keeping so much from you. I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner. I should never have lied.
I'm sorry. It doesn't mean a thing to you that I'm sorry, but I am truly sorry.
I wish I could make it up to you. I wish I could get you back. I wish I could kiss you, hold you tightly, protect you and be protected. I wish I could laugh and read and reread our conversations. I wish I could stay logged on for a lot longer than I should, just so I might have a chance of talking to you again.
I think I can't, though.
I don't think you're ever coming back to me.
And I actually doubt that you'll read this.
Emily V, if you're reading, I am never leaving you.
I am never leaving you unless you tell me to go.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q93Vcoroe80
I didn't leave you behind, Emily. Open your eyes and see me standing there in front of you, tears streaming down my face, shredded wings dripping blood onto the floor.
See me standing there, Emily V. Imperfect and a betrayer, but I swear I will try to save you.
I love you.
Forever.
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