Easier Now?--Life Post

Just walking away from love....Can things get better? Or can they only get worse at this point? Dylan and me....At least that's decided. Just no more dating until things make sense to try it again. Maybe that means never.....But I don't know.

Well, I have FIVE FREAKING DAYS to get myself ready to write a novel. I've got the idea done, and I'm gonna work on the characterization today. Well, I bet you're wondering why I'm on a schedule. Ya see, I'm Canadian, and guess what November is....?

NATIONAL NOVEL WRITING MONTH.

And there's an entire Canada-wide club for it. NaNo WriMo. I'm a part of the branch at my high school....yes I'm in grade nine, fourteen, and I live in a small town....and I had an idea called When You Get This that I was psyched to write, did the whole plotline and everything, and then took one look at it and realized I'd bitten off WAY more than I could chew. So now I'm trying something else. I won't tell ya guys about it--nor will it be posted on here, but I'll email it to you if you BEG.

I'll keep going on the Lycanas Gray thingamajigger. I like him and it's gonna be a fun story to write.

Well, things seem to have calmed down quite a bit. Joseph is NOT love, Emmy and me are going along quietly, and Dylan and me....We're gonna need to take a while to get used to all of this.

He...he really would've asked me back out if things had worked out that way. So it was because of what I decided that we're done.

For now....

I love him. I kinda can't NOT love him. Every moment, he's gonna be on my mind. If I'm working on something, I'll mutter his name under my breath and I'll feel better. I don't think that much about Emmy--or Joseph, who btw is now a great friend of mine. He's happier now. No girlfriend, but he's getting over that. He'll be fine.

I think......I think I'm exhausted. I'm tired and a bit sick. But I'll be fine......

Just....My friend Elaine.

I only found out a few days ago that she self harms. She didn't tell me until now because she didn't want to worry me. I guess that's a good reason--and I self harm as well (rubber band snapped on wrist, no permanent marks or visible signs)--so I can't get mad at her. We promised each other that we can't self harm if the other doesn't. Up to two nights ago, I hadn't done that in months.

I love you all. Wish me luck with my life. As always.

And if any of you are reading this....let me know. Comment, say hi, or message me on Facebook. I wouldn't mind knowing what you think of my blog and especially my poetry.

Byes.